Thursday, October 18, 2012
.........
Kerana dikhuatiri semakin didekati, semakin disakiti dan menyakiti. Jadi langkah terbaik adalah menjauhi.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Stalker
Ya Allah..bencinyaaaaaaaa menjadi seorang stalker yg xdiiktiraf ni.!!!!!
Stalk everything in his page.
Stalk his posts
Stalk his comments
Stalk his friends' comment
Stalk his picture
Stalk his activity
and even I do stalk his friends!!!!!
What am I actually?idiot?or pervert? pervert with my example?
Who is he actually? Why I could not move on?
I did not affect his life after all, but he left me with everything and make me mess up my own life!
He left me with the memories made in that short time..He left me with his sweet talks, promises and all those gibberish things!
then suddenly..I reflected myself..
I am the 1 who being stupid to believe his words..
I am the one who believe to live in that fairy tale world..
I didn't deserve to get him...for such I am nobody to him..
Stalk everything in his page.
Stalk his posts
Stalk his comments
Stalk his friends' comment
Stalk his picture
Stalk his activity
and even I do stalk his friends!!!!!
What am I actually?idiot?or pervert? pervert with my example?
Who is he actually? Why I could not move on?
I did not affect his life after all, but he left me with everything and make me mess up my own life!
He left me with the memories made in that short time..He left me with his sweet talks, promises and all those gibberish things!
then suddenly..I reflected myself..
I am the 1 who being stupid to believe his words..
I am the one who believe to live in that fairy tale world..
I didn't deserve to get him...for such I am nobody to him..
Saturday, October 6, 2012
I wish you will read this
I am not over you yet..
But I am going to.
Because you are just somebody that I used to know.
But I am going to.
Because you are just somebody that I used to know.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Ajarkan aku erti berhenti
Dulu..
aku melihat tangisan orang..
rintihan orang..
dan kekecewaan orang..
Mereka menangisi akan sebuah cinta manusia yg sememangnya aku tidak pernah memahami.. Dulu ckp dkt orang..apa ke bodohnya dok pk pasal org yg dah xnak kt kite?
and I am that stupid one.
Why did I get involved in this?
I just wish to delete you in my data.
I just wish I was not in that school at that time..
so that I won't meet you..
I just wish I did not ever know someone like you..
BECAUSE
you are just somebody that I used to know.
I am going to make you regret this.
aku melihat tangisan orang..
rintihan orang..
dan kekecewaan orang..
Mereka menangisi akan sebuah cinta manusia yg sememangnya aku tidak pernah memahami.. Dulu ckp dkt orang..apa ke bodohnya dok pk pasal org yg dah xnak kt kite?
and I am that stupid one.
Why did I get involved in this?
I just wish to delete you in my data.
I just wish I was not in that school at that time..
so that I won't meet you..
I just wish I did not ever know someone like you..
BECAUSE
you are just somebody that I used to know.
I am going to make you regret this.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
The One That Got Away
"In another life, i will make you stay..
so i don't have to say
you were the one that got away.."
This song keeps playing in my head..every second.every minute and every breath i took. Why was it hard to get over? He was gone, for his happier life perhaps. He'd wounded me deeply, devastated me and still i just couldn't stop loving him. And it was driving me crazy!
One morning, in a park, i found myself walking aimlessly alone. i stopped at a beautiful lake and saw my face in the clear water. I saw my old self. I was a very cheerful girl and be loved by others. I made people happy with my jokes and laugh. Every time my sisters or my friends lost their way, I am the one who tried my best to show them a way. I encouraged them a lot and said to them that, God arranges everything for our good sake. Then, I will sing to them Maher Zain's song,
"Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side"
Yes, Allah is by my side. I always said that to them but now why i forgot this? Tears fall down on my cheek. Oh, Allah, I am weak. I always forget you. I forgot that it is a test from you to remind me that the true love only from you.. i saw my own reflection in the lake as i was crying.. Brighter and prettier. I realized one thing today, "the one that got away" is the one who should regret himself. He is the one who lost a faithful girl in his life. I am not losing anything.. I am going to be more stronger than before because i found my new love that always love me before, now and forever.My God. Allah.. Oh Allah, please forgive me for being such an ignorance and forgot that you are always by my side before. Starting on that day, i set in my mind that i am not going to fall in love easily because i have a precious heart to be given to anyone.
I started my new life with new hope and new inspirations. I am back with the real me. People noticed my changes and they are really happy with my improvements. I tried my best to be a better person. I want to be a great English teacher but also a great Muslimah. Thanks to "the one that got away", i found my way now. I participate a lot in "Usrah" and learn how to endure any pain in life. I still remember a saying from my usrah's member, "Allah arranges us to meet with the wrong people in purpose so that we realized that He is the most loving and caring in reminding us that the people is not the best choice for our future."
Everything happened for a reason. I got a call from my mom in one fine day. She said she has a good news to me and she requested for me to come back home. I could smell something from my mom's voice. I think I do not prepare myself enough to face this. But my mom said," You do not have to prepare anything, you just have to come back and make your decision. I am not forcing you but i am giving you a choice. It's up to you now. Do" istikharah" and ask for His help." Mom's saying keeps playing in my head. Oh, Allah, please guide me and show me the right way..
"Aku terima nikahnya..........", Alhamdulillah, thanks Allah for giving me this happiness. I could not hide my tears in front of my husband now. I have so many things to ask but all i can do now is cry.. He sits in front of me, hold my hand and say, " My dear lovely wife, I am sorry for leaving you before but trust me, it was for our happiness now. I chose not to be with you and wipe your tears before because i hope you will be my wife someday, not a girlfriend. I want you to be someone "halal" for me forever and ever."
Oh Allah, i know you arrange everything for my life. Thanks Allah..
"Love is not something that weakening and hurting us, but it is something that makes us stronger and heal us from any pain."
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
hot headed girl
i am? i dunno...
bagaimana cara membuatmu bahagia
nyaris ku menyerah jalani semua
tlah berbagai kata ku ungkap percuma
agar kau percaya cintaku berharga
tak kuat ku menahanmu, mempertahankan cintaku namun kau begitu saja, tak pernah merindu
-Geisha-
is it you or me? how deep my love for you even we are apart..
i am a girl..a girl who wants to be pampered..a girl who wants a love word everyday..
but it seems you did not get me..you said im a head headed girl..
bagaimana cara membuatmu bahagia
nyaris ku menyerah jalani semua
tlah berbagai kata ku ungkap percuma
agar kau percaya cintaku berharga
tak kuat ku menahanmu, mempertahankan cintaku namun kau begitu saja, tak pernah merindu
-Geisha-
is it you or me? how deep my love for you even we are apart..
i am a girl..a girl who wants to be pampered..a girl who wants a love word everyday..
but it seems you did not get me..you said im a head headed girl..
Sunday, January 29, 2012
AN EXPERIENCE TEACHES ME
Adala one day tu, my family and i lalu dkt sebuah klinik swasta bernama Klinik Balkhis dkt KB. Klinik 2 lebih ke arah kepakaran kulit. Masa 2 dlm pukul 2 ptg i think. Aku sgt terkejut tgok rmai gile org tgh tggu outside of the clinic. People was waiting for the clinic to reopen after lunch hour. Wow, what a great clinic i think! Pada saat itulah, i told my mom that one day, i'll go there.( a joking actually, because i didnt have any skin problem)
But suddenly, 1 week ago, aku slh try 1 produk ni and my face changed. Allah knows my feeling at that time. Hurt, hot, itchy and my face was like udang kena bakar!.i lost and i didn't know what to do. Lucky i was at home and my mom gave me a best suggestion. Kinik Balkhis! My neighbour said she is a great doctor, the medicine always effective and without thinking much, i decided to go there after 3 days of suffering. Masin betol mulut aku dulu. Nak sgt pegi kan da kena pegi.hahahhaa
When i reached there, i saw many people you know...glemer btol doc nie..Aku sgt jarang tgok klinik swasta yang dipenuhi org sebegini. Masa tu pukul 11 pg and the registration counter was already closed and i had to come back at 2.30pm. Lepas lepak ngn my mum kat KB Pacific, solat and makan, dlm 2.40pm aku pegi balik kt situ.. Pehhh...da sampai turn no 22 kot! Aduhh... Pity my mom. She had to accompany me until 5.30pm to see the doc. The doc is so kind and has a beautiful skin even she is already old. About 50 something maybe. Masa tgh tggu nk jmpa dia tu mcm2 pujian aku dgr dri pesakit2 kat luar yg sama menunngu ngn aku td. The doc bebel2 sikit and also advised me a lot about how to take care of our face. Good.haha
Now, two days later,after i used the face cream, facial wash and took some pills from Klinik Balkhis, my face slowly back to the normal. HAHAHAA.. Alhamdullah.. Sgt effective okay. pencuci muka dia sgt lembut dan bila sapu krim 2 rase lembut gile...Thanks Dr Balkhis~~love u mummuaaah2.hehe
Now i knew why people is willing to wait outside of the clinic earlier before it is opened. Org cina pon sgt ramai pegi sana tawww...nmpak la kehebatannye,.ok end about promoting the clinic..
Now, i am regretted myself and i promised to take care of my face and follow Dr. Balkhis's advice. She said, before trying new product, just put a little under a cheek for 4 days and see what happened. If u feel itchy and hot, it is not suitable for ur face. END.
But suddenly, 1 week ago, aku slh try 1 produk ni and my face changed. Allah knows my feeling at that time. Hurt, hot, itchy and my face was like udang kena bakar!.i lost and i didn't know what to do. Lucky i was at home and my mom gave me a best suggestion. Kinik Balkhis! My neighbour said she is a great doctor, the medicine always effective and without thinking much, i decided to go there after 3 days of suffering. Masin betol mulut aku dulu. Nak sgt pegi kan da kena pegi.hahahhaa
When i reached there, i saw many people you know...glemer btol doc nie..Aku sgt jarang tgok klinik swasta yang dipenuhi org sebegini. Masa tu pukul 11 pg and the registration counter was already closed and i had to come back at 2.30pm. Lepas lepak ngn my mum kat KB Pacific, solat and makan, dlm 2.40pm aku pegi balik kt situ.. Pehhh...da sampai turn no 22 kot! Aduhh... Pity my mom. She had to accompany me until 5.30pm to see the doc. The doc is so kind and has a beautiful skin even she is already old. About 50 something maybe. Masa tgh tggu nk jmpa dia tu mcm2 pujian aku dgr dri pesakit2 kat luar yg sama menunngu ngn aku td. The doc bebel2 sikit and also advised me a lot about how to take care of our face. Good.haha
Now, two days later,after i used the face cream, facial wash and took some pills from Klinik Balkhis, my face slowly back to the normal. HAHAHAA.. Alhamdullah.. Sgt effective okay. pencuci muka dia sgt lembut dan bila sapu krim 2 rase lembut gile...Thanks Dr Balkhis~~love u mummuaaah2.hehe
Now i knew why people is willing to wait outside of the clinic earlier before it is opened. Org cina pon sgt ramai pegi sana tawww...nmpak la kehebatannye,.ok end about promoting the clinic..
Now, i am regretted myself and i promised to take care of my face and follow Dr. Balkhis's advice. She said, before trying new product, just put a little under a cheek for 4 days and see what happened. If u feel itchy and hot, it is not suitable for ur face. END.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I HATE THIS
people hate this feeling
CONFUSE
when i confuse about something, i feel like i want to leave everything and run away.
but if i run, i am coward
so i choose to stay and face everything..
but if it is involving people, what should i do?
how to handle with them and solve the confusion?
oh..it is not as easy as talk!
it will become worst when emotion and feeling also involved.
so...the solution is..i kept quiet and cry alone..
im afraid if i ask that person,im going to make them confuse too..
YA ALLAH..i hate this feeling!
CONFUSE
when i confuse about something, i feel like i want to leave everything and run away.
but if i run, i am coward
so i choose to stay and face everything..
but if it is involving people, what should i do?
how to handle with them and solve the confusion?
oh..it is not as easy as talk!
it will become worst when emotion and feeling also involved.
so...the solution is..i kept quiet and cry alone..
im afraid if i ask that person,im going to make them confuse too..
YA ALLAH..i hate this feeling!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
GIVING ALL BUT ACCEPT NONE
i don't understand why
people like to take everything
ask for anything and demand the whole thing
BUT refuse to give to repay
people like to take everything
ask for anything and demand the whole thing
BUT refuse to give to repay
does not want to appreciate and left people wandering around
dear people, if u have someone u really love..
dear people, if u have someone u really love..
u can be a boss but u have to be a maid too!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
misunderstood
if you wait for someone too long
you tend to explode
you tend to explode
but when that someone appears in front of you
suddenly you forgot you had waited that long
suddenly you forgot you had waited that long
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